


Yes, No, Maybe

by virtuous_contract



Series: Wish Fulfilment [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Anal Fingering, BDSM, Cock Warming, Come Eating, Come Swallowing, Dirty Talk, Established Relationship, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Oral Sex, PWP, Porn, Porn with Feelings, Safe Sane and Consensual, Shameless Smut, Switch zack fair, Zangeal - Freeform, kinky zack fair, switch angeal hewley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:14:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27757489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virtuous_contract/pseuds/virtuous_contract
Summary: Zack has prepared a yes-no-maybe-list for Angeal to fill in. They talk, they negotiate, they fuck and then they talk some more.This is a follow-up on 'Wish Fulfilment', but could definitely be read as a stand-alone.My intention is to write a series of kinky pwp's for this adorable, teeth rotting pairing, and this was just the basic setting up for the series... with a little bit more fucking than was intended. But I swear, I cut half of it out. These boys have way too much hots for each other! ;)
Relationships: Zack Fair/Angeal Hewley
Series: Wish Fulfilment [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2030479
Comments: 9
Kudos: 33





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This has not yet been betaed. Do you feel a grinding urge to beta this shit? Feel free to write me an email! Or write me on Discord. Link in profile.

Zack had gotten up ridiculously early for being a Saturday morning to make breakfast. Angeal had watched him spring up from the bed like some ungodly jumping spider, sighed, and hid himself under the blanket for longer. Eventually the smell of fried bacon and coffee got him to stick out his head, only to find Zack smirking in the doorway dressed in nothing but his old, blue, worn apron. He could practically feel his pupils dilate.

“Wanna join me in the kitchen, or would you like another round in the bed?” Zack said with glittering eyes as he stalked to the bed and crawled unto it. He placed himself above the robust caterpillar-shape of Angeal under the blankets and nuzzled his face to Angeal’s and did his best to kiss away Angeal’s reluctance to begin the new day.

“What’s this?” Angeal tugged at the straps of the apron that at some point used to be a darker hue. 

“Oh, not much compared to this.” Zack sat back and guided Angeal’s hands under the edges of the apron and sighed blissfully at the touch.

“Puppy, how are you so eager on a Saturday morning?”

“I’m not,” Zack said with an unguarded smile that Angeal wasn’t quite used to. “C’mon, let’s have breakfast. I have something… prepared.”

“You mean breakfast?” Angeal said, his brain still slow, and not quite speeding up from the way his hands were running up and down Zack’s naked sides. The apron was a nice touch. Very nice. 

“No, something else! C’mon c’mon c’mon!” Zack crawled backwards off the bed and playfully tugged at Angeal, not wanting to disturb Angeal’s comfort by tugging too hard, in case he really wasn’t ready to get up.

“Puppy, maybe you shouldn’t be allowed more clothes than that. Ever.” Angeal mumbled in a mock admonishment, but he couldn’t keep his smile from widening, or roaming his eyes over every piece of honey-coloured skin Zack was exposing.

“Mmmm, well, we can discuss that and more over breakfast.”

Angeal’s eyebrows rose with his curiosity, and then he finally got out of bed. He wrapped himself in his unassuming morning flannel and followed Zack’s ostentatious backside into his kitchen. 

They’d been ‘dating’ for a few months now, but Zack had never gone overboard with a breakfast before. Bread and butter, coffee and tea, cheese and bacon, müsli and yoghurt, cut vegetables and fried eggs. It all looked heavenly.

“Puppy, what are you up to?” Angeal sat down on the chair that Zack was holding out for him, and then got his tea served. Zack got coffee for himself and sat down on the chair next to Angeal, close enough to make their thighs touch.

“You know I love to go to bed with you more than anything?” Zack sipped his coffee with a sheepish smile while absentmindedly brushing his fingers over Angeal’s worn robe.

“Mhmm?” 

“Well, I like other stuff too, so I made these lists…” A rare blush rose to Zack’s cheeks. It made Angeal wonder what was going on inside that sweet head. Zack who he’d found so incredibly forward in bed, but still displaying this adorable shy streak from time to time. It was a trait he knew well from Zack’s younger years, but most of the time it was well hidden, like a secret almost. But here it was, in all its lustre. 

“Lists?” 

“Yeah, do you know about the ‘yes-no-maybe’-lists?”

Angeal smirked. “So, you’re bored already with this old man, huh?”

“Pff, no! As if!” Zack leaned in closer and put his head on Angeal’s shoulder, lazily turning his head to kiss Angeal’s neck. “I could never be bored of you.” 

It was impossible for Angeal not to notice how placating Zack was. Was he nervous? Still afraid of rejection? It made him feel a sting of failure, the idea that Zack wasn’t confident enough in their relationship to make him feel like that. Well, nothing else to do than to jump aboard that train. 

“Okay, okay Pup. Hand me the list.”

“You have to fill out yours first, before you can see mine.” 

Angeal rumbled impatiently while Zack cleared some space on the table for the papers and a pen. Papers, as in multiple. Angeal looked up at Zack in disbelief. Well, the breakfast made sense now. Lucky for Zack it was damn good, and that Zack’s sparkling puppy eyes were so damn irresistible. His gaze was drawn like a magnet to Zack’s naked side, peeking into the shadows of the apron.

“Isn’t your butt cold on the wood?”

“Mmm, you can warm it later if you’d like. Now focus,” Zack said with a tone that clearly mimicked Angeal’s own, from all the countless times he’d told Zack to focus over the years. It nearly had him snorting his tea out of his nose.

“I can’t believe you brought me paperwork for breakfast,” he grumbled and let his hand stray to Zack’s naked hip. 

“Oh please, you love paperwork. Get to it.” Zack tapped on the paper and turned his attention to the breakfast, still wearing the dorky smile.

Angeal knew about these kinds of lists from his relationship with Genesis. Gene would often talk about them excitedly before and after Gen was meeting someone new. He wasn’t sure why, but Gen had never asked him to fill one out, and they’d never done the things that he knew Gen was so into with others. He hadn’t thought about it much at the time, but he sure was now. He’d just assumed that Gen reserved his ‘vanilla stuff’ for him, somehow, and that was just that. 

At first he’d thought the list would be easy to fill it in, but the task turned out to be more complicated than he’d expected. It had four columns, ‘Into’, ‘Willing’, ‘Maybe’ and ‘No’. It also asked him to fill different letters for top, bottom, never tried and favourite. 

He’d always assumed he was someone who knew his limits and preferences clearly, but when he was asked to explicate them like this, he realised that the list might actually be a good idea. It was different when asked to specify. He had to elaborate to himself on his own beliefs, values and preferences to fill in his answers. Besides, the thought Zack had put into making the list was evident. Into this whole morning, really. He wanted nothing but to honour that. 

Angeal finished a slice of bread and turned to his sweet little puppy, who was still pressing the outside of their thighs together. “Zack, this is very sweet and considerate of you.”

“Yeah? Maybe, wait to say that until we’ve compared lists.” There was blushing again. Definitely nervous.

“Pup, you know there will be nothing on your list that will put me off, right?” Oh, there was plain doubt in those puppy eyes now. 

“Zack. What can I do to make you believe me?”

“Maybe I’m being silly. Just finish your list and we’ll talk, okay?” Zack was playing with strands of hair at the back of his neck. It was another thing Angeal hadn’t seen Zack doing in a long time, and it brought back waves of nostalgia to see him fidget with his hair. Angeal hummed and gave Zack an attentive little peck and got back to the list.

The first page wasn’t so hard, it was mostly things that they’d done already; kissing, fingering, massage, anal, fellatio and so on. Then came the things they hadn’t done but that he’d be delighted to do; 69, phone sex, prostate play… And he’d definitely thought that introducing a few toys would be rewarding. 

Then came a long list of things he, frankly, didn’t expect. Things that he hadn’t thought of ever being involved in. Things such as sensory deprivation, breath play, punches, kicks, degradation, gags, knife play, various forms of role play, worship, watching others, sex parties, forced orgasms...

He had to really think, and it was disorienting to try to imagine himself doing some of those things to Zack, or Zack doing them to him. Two people lovingly doing that to one and other didn’t easily fit into his idea of love. The concepts didn’t seem natural to him.

Clearly, he knew about many of the practices from Genesis, but he realised now he’d never _really_ listened when Gen had talked about it. Perhaps that’s why Gen had eventually stopped discussing it with him. He felt a stab of guilt at that.

Then came a list for language use that he didn’t expect, but he supposed it made sense in context. Lastly there was a list for feelings. He had to pause and think what that actually meant to get turned on by things like resentment, being abandoned or objectified and used? It made him nervous about what Zack’s list would look like.

In the end, filling in the list had been more draining than he had anticipated, and he could understand Zack’s nerves better. 

“Alright Zack, are we supposed to exchange them now?” When he looked up Zack met his gaze, looking as if he was a deer caught in the headlights.

“Zack! Come on! Is it really such a big deal?” Of course it was, but he couldn’t think of anything better to say to comfort, so he took Zack’s hand and kissed it. It melted some of Zack’s anxiety and he gave a nervous chuckle.

“I guess. Kinda. Whatever. Let’s just do it.” Zack gave his list to Angeal while climbing to straddle Angeal’s lap with heavy, lazy movements. If Angel didn’t know Zack so well, they might have looked carefree and confident, but he knew that Zack in good spirits was light and bouncy. 

“Don’t judge me too hard,” Zack mumbled barely audibly as he snatched Angeal’s list, slumped over Angeal’s shoulder to read behind Angeal’s back.

Angeal just hummed soothingly, put a heavy hand on the small of Zack’s small back and begun to read. Silent minutes followed, only interrupted by the occasional flip of papers. At first, he was delighted to find so many of the things filled out as ‘into’. 

Images of him pleasuring Zack with toys, blindfolded and tied up, lovingly torturing him to come again and again sent enjoyable shivers down his spine and made his nether regions tingle pleasantly. The idea of the reverse wasn’t bad either. But when he got to the ‘heavier stuff’, he found an astonishing amount of them being filled in with ‘into’ too.

Things that were much more uncomfortable to imagine. Things like being beaten, kicked, punched, and fucked and degraded in front of others. Things that were violent. Didn’t they have enough violence in their SOLDIER lives already?

But what made him wrap his arm protectively around Zack’s waist was the ‘feelings’ section. Why would his beloved Puppy get turned on by feeling used, punished, forced and violated? 

There were certain aspects he could understand, to feel adored, useful, loved and to have trust to act these… fantasies out. He stared at the word ‘worthless’ on the form and felt a startling amount of gratefulness that it was filled in with a simple ‘no’. The thought of anyone, let alone himself, making his Puppy feel useless seemed like a nightmare. 

When he finished reading, he didn’t know what to say. It was all confusing and overwhelming. He had no idea that his Puppy had these inclinations, and he didn’t know what to think about it; _how_ to think about it. So, moments of silence passed, until it was clear that none of them were reading any longer.

“Angeal?” Zack had to gesture for Angeal to loosen his grip on him to be able to lean back enough for them to face each other. It was one thing for Zack to have known that Angeal would have difficulties understanding, but it was another to see the overbearing concern painted on his face. The sight had his heart screwed in a vice of angst, and he battled it furiously, adamant to have this conversation as an adult.

“Are you angry? Disappointed? Disgusted? Please tell me what you’re thinking.” Zack said, regretting loosening Angeal’s grip on him.

“No, of course not. I love you dearly. Which is why I’m having a difficult time understanding why you’d want someone to treat you like this. Do you think that you could try to tell me why? I might need some help to understand.” Angeal hoped he’d said non-accusatory things. He hoped he sounded certain of himself. He desperately didn’t want to botch this conversation that Zack had prepared so carefully for. 

“Of course. Can you just maybe please hold me a little first? Angeal, I’m really nervous.” Zack prayed he didn’t come across as too pitiful for asking, but Angeal just gave a low rumbling approval and pulled him into a comfortably crushing grip. Gods, his arms were such a safe haven. What would he do if he would lose them? 

The embrace lasted for a long time; they both needed it. Only when Zack could feel Angeal’s steady hands moving across his skin with the same steady warmth as always, did he dare to lean back again. When he looked into Angeal’s warm brown eyes most of the concern had faded, and what was left was just the care he’d relied so heavily upon over the years. It made him feel blessedly spoiled, and it made his heart ache for Angeal with urgency even though he was right there.

“I’ve been thinking about it a lot, because I knew you’d ask. I’m not sure that I have good answers, so will you please do me the favour of listening in a generous way?”

“Of course, Puppy.” As if he could ever listen to his Puppy in any other way. Okay, maybe that wasn’t true he admitted to himself, recalling some of the miscommunications he and Zack’d had in the final year of Zack’s wardship. It had been a trying time for both of them.

In hindsight he could see that they had held on to each other just a little bit too tight, each afraid to let the other one go. He could see the same fear in Zack now, but he could also see Zack taking on those feelings responsibly. It filled his heart with pride.

“It was such a joy and privilege to have you as a mentor when I entered SOLDIER. You always made me feel so safe and accepted, and I’ve always loved you for that. When I recognised my feelings for you as… inappropriate, and it became something of a struggle to contain them. Some situations were more trying than others, when we sparred, for example.” A small, embarrassed smile crept over Zack’s face, and it was reflected back to him fondly but slightly pained.

“I used to love your weight on top of me. The way you were standing so close when you adjusted my posture. You know… the way you cared for me after, whenever I’d taken hits. I lived for those moments. They probably shaped my imagination, and I think maybe, eeh, things might have gotten a little bit mixed up.” Zack ruffled the hair at the back of his neck and chuckled quietly. 

“Are you saying that it’s my fault then that you became like this?” The words slipped before Angeal could stop himself from saying them, and he instantly regretted them. 

“Wow. Is it a _fault_ that I’m like this?” Zack asked, slumping from the weight of his sinking heart. Angeal hadn’t said it outright, the issues was definitely in there somewhere. 

“No Zack, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just that I’ve debated my decisions concerning you so much, and I’ve worried _so much_ that I’ve made the wrong ones. It’s not on you, it’s on me.” Angeal pulled Zack close enough for them to touch their foreheads together. “Please forgive me,” he said quietly, not really sure if he was apologising for his unconsidered phrasing or for something larger than that. 

“Angeal, you might not understand this, but I _love_ who I am, even if it’s unconventional, and I have you to thank for that. I’ve met some truly wonderful people, and I’ve had amazing experiences that I wouldn’t trade for anything else. If possible, I’d like to have some of those experiences with you too, that’s all. Not to say that I haven’t. I’ve been so happy... I’m so thankful…” Zack’s voice trailed off when the feelings for Angeal overflowed completely. They consumed him, now that they were constantly fed into. It bordered on painful, but it was a pain he’d gladly carry.

“Puppy, Puppy, my beautiful Puppy.” Angeal murmured softly. With a light grip on Zack’s chin, he tilted his head up to kiss the lips that had given him such kind, wise, reassurance. For the moment they allowed him to let go of his worries. If Zack was happy, then he’d done enough right.

The kisses were light and earnest but didn’t get heated. They were just enough to reassure one and other that they’d be alright no matter what. Eventually they were back to resting their foreheads against each other, and Zack was the first one to speak.

“It wasn’t just keeping away from you that was characterised by rules and discipline. You know, everything about Shinra and my training was like that. It was nice sometimes, to play by other rules. When I got commanding rank, I really missed having someone else to tell me what to do, so I found a way to get that. I don’t _really_ want to be treated badly or anything. It’s more about the trust, you know? And being accepted even when I’m not ‘the best version of me’ or whatever. Does that make sense at all?”

Angeal hummed his recognition. He’d never felt the need to utilise trust quite in that way, but he could understand it. The pressure of being in command was something he was intimately familiar with.

“And some things are just a game. Thrilling, maybe like a horror movie. Situations where I can feel what I feel but still be safe to step away whenever I want.”

Angeal hummed again. He could understand that too. “I guess I’ve always felt that the thrill of real danger in the battlefields have been enough for me. I’ve never felt like I wanted more of that in my personal life.”

“Yeah, I get that. Maybe it’s just a different way to process? I don’t know, the control I feel when I ‘play’ is very different from the control I feel I have in a battlefield. At least you know, when the play works out.”

“What do you mean?” 

“Well... There are assholes everywhere, assholes with boundary issues. But more often I’ve found that I’ve been wrong about my own boundaries. I’ve… Through this, ehm… By practicing BDSM I’ve learned so much about myself.”

Zack was blushing. Angeal felt as though he should have focused more on the troubles Zack laid out, but it was just too much, the tension of it all. A fond, low, rumbling laughter burst from Angeal’s chest at Zack’s erratic shyness. He looked as if he’d taken a bite of some forbidden fruit as he formed the words. He was so wrapped up in it he didn’t even think about Gen, who’d obviously been in the same scene.

The laughter made Zack break out in a wide smile and his eyebrows rise in a silent question.

“Never mind, Pup.” The laughter did them both good.

“…And maybe I just really like being vulnerable with you. In fact, I can’t think of anything that’s more enjoyable, you know, sexual or otherwise.”

Angeal gave Zack’s neck soft little nips. That he could definitely get behind.

“My sweet, lovely, lovely Puppy,” he murmured, not finding anything more meaningful to say in the moment.

Zack let out a dramatic puff of air shook his hips in a playful, exaggerated shiver and then he shook Angeal’s list in his hand and took a deep, dramatic breath.

“Angeeeeal, Angeal, Angeal Angeal. You put so many maybes on your list!” Zack whined. It earned him more nips on his neck, now a little bit more enthusiastic.

Angeal hummed a hum equivalent to ‘so?’ 

“Do you really mean it? You’d consider doing all those things?” Zack’s voice turned breathy. Now that the tension had melted considerably, he allowed himself to dwell more readily on Angeal’s list.

“I’ll _consider_ them, Pup. But I’ll need some time to digest. And we’re going to have to have some very specific conversations. I can’t say I’m comfortable with everything you’re into, but this is all new to me. Perhaps we can start small?”

“Of course.” Zack could barely believe what he was hearing. How could Angeal be so perfect? There were more maybes on that list than he ever could have dreamed of. It made his head spin in the most wonderful way. 

“I guess your nickname has put ideas in your head, huh?” Angeal mumbled and slipped his thumbs under the edge of that apron, running his hands up along the sides of Zack’s things. 

“Mmmm, yes. Will you play fetch with me, _daddy_?”

Angeal’s hands froze with a snort. He had _not_ ticked ‘willing’ for ‘daddy’. It wasn’t even a ‘maybe’. Absolutely not. 

“Bad Puppy,” Angeal murmured and gave that exquisite, muscular neck a teasing bite. It caused Zack to crash his hips into his stomach, and he could feel Zack swelling against him.

“There are toys with tails on them.” Zack breathed and nestled his hands into Angeal’s hair to push Angeal’s mouth harder into his neck. The next bite was stung properly, and it was absolutely heady. Everything about Angeal was heady.

“Really? And should I put a leash on you to keep you in line?” Angeal mouthed, moving his lips over Zack’s neck and ear.

“Gods, please!” Zack groaned. Even for being Zack, Angeal noticed Zack’s erection filling out with remarkable speed. He tugged playfully at Zack’s raven tresses, enjoying the feeling of Zack’s hardness against him through the layers of fabric between them. 

“And should I parade you around the headquarters, Puppy? Do you want everyone to see that you’re mine now?” That would never happen in a million years, but talking was different than doing. Talk he could do, especially when his Puppy seemed to get so excited from it. Besides, he felt the pressing need to show Zack that he wasn’t put off by his preferences. 

Zack stifled a groan by biting into Angeal’s impressive trapezius, reluctantly stilling his hips to avoid shooting himself all over the pleasantly chafing apron. It made Angeal give a quiet but delighted laugh in his particular, humming way.

Zack removed his lips and tentatively kissed the bite mark he’d made. “I’m fucking close, Angeal. You have no idea what this means to me,” Zack half whispered.

“You’re right, but I hope to find out.” Angeal could recognize Zack slipping into one of his ‘frenzied determination’- moods again. He’d seen them in training often enough, he’d seen it on that first night they got together, and he was seeing it now. He wondered what this one was about.

His thoughts were interrupted by Zack’s hungry lips on his, and an eager tongue invading him. Impatient hands were undoing the loose knot on his morning robe and soon they were pawing at his own erection. It had been more enjoyable than he’d expected to imagine his Puppy as an actual puppy. Or perhaps he was just bouncing off of Zack’s vibrant emotions.

Zack pulled away, breathless and dazed. “Can I ask for something?”

“Of course,” Angeal replied with a smirk. He still wasn’t used to the explosiveness of Zack’s desire for him. Frankly, it was a bit hard to fathom how much Zack seemed to want him. Not that he minded.

He ran his hands over Zack’s thighs, resisting grabbing hold of Zack to get him off right then and there, but he suspected Zack had other ideas. He always found it so hard to resist his beloved Puppy, especially now when he didn’t actually have to. There were times where he felt with devastating clarity that he’d do anything for Zack.

“Can I warm you?”

“Warm me?”

Zack pushed the robe open and closed his hand around Angeal’s length. “ _This_ in my mouth. Just holding it there.”

He knew that he shouldn’t be asking for such a thing so spontaneously. Almost everyone around him who were into the BDSM-scene agreed it was easier saying yes than no, and that made spontaneous requests for first-time things a bit shaky.

On the other he knew Angeal well. Warming wasn’t _that_ different from a blow job, and those were quite regular practice between them. Angeal looked at him with a perfect mixture of amusement, lust and interest, but he wasn’t saying yes. 

“You could finish breakfast or solve a crossword puzzle. And then we can do whatever you like.” Zack explained while gently toying with Angeal’s half-hard cock that was now twitching with interest. 

“Hmm, what about this?” Angeal put his index finger on the wet spot Zack’s excitement had made on the apron, causing Zack to shiver delightfully.

“Angeal, this _is_ about me. I’m asking this for me. Not against your will of course… and you can end it any time you’d like.” His confidence grew with every word, just like Angeal’s erection in his hand. It was so warm and heavy, moist and inviting. The thought of it in his mouth made him salivate. 

Zack had learned Angeal’s arousal was best read off his cock. It usually took a while before it was properly reflected in Angeal’s expression or voice. Sometimes it showed like a glint in his eyes that Zack only just recently came to understand for what it was. It was there now, playing in the late morning light.

“Alright,” Angeal said with an unwavering smile.

Zack beamed through his lust, feeling as if he could burst both from arousal and happiness. “Take the apron off me,” he said in a voice that reflected the strain of his emotions. It seemed like every second with Angeal was on the verge of too intense. Every second still seemed new, and he had to become happy over and over again.

“Puppy,” Angeal rumbled with deep appreciation. He let his hands drift to Zack’s back to slowly undo the sloppily made bow, making sure to graze Zack’s warm skin with every movement.

Zack arched his back beautifully when he pulled the apron off overhead and he was allowed to take in the splendour of Zack’s naked body. Zack kissed him tenderly as if gathering strength, before he slipped down to the floor where he kneeled in front of Angeal. 

“Am I really supposed to read the paper now?” Angeal asked with humour and disbelief, doubting he’d manage.

“Yeah, or pretend. Come on Angeal, where’s your discipline?” Zack grinned in challenge, slotted himself under the table and pulled Angeal’s chair closer. The excitement he felt in the pit of his stomach was so excessive it almost made him feel nauseous.

Angeal grumbled and Zack placed a content kiss on Angeal’s knee when he heard the rustling of paper above him.

Zack’s touches were undeniably reverential when he put his hands on Angeal’s knees and parted them. Care and adoration seemed to guide Zack’s movements; he barely knew what he was doing when he ran his hands up Angeal’s incredible legs. All he knew was his acute ache for Angeal, and the need to express it.

“Am I allowed to touch you?” Angeal asked when he felt Zack’s breath on him.

“You can touch my head.” Zack said and gave a peck to the inside of Angeal’s warm thigh. It was difficult not to kiss everywhere, to bite, tease, tug and just shove Angeal’s cock down his throat to make Angeal come, but that would make this over far too soon.

He held Angeal’s tip against his lips and took a few composing breaths, fighting the urge for quick gratification, before he slid Angeal in on his tongue. Angeal’s taste made his head swim with another powerful wave of arousal, and he put his hands on Angeal’s thighs to keep them off his own leaking self. 

From above him Angeal’s voice rumbled in a low groan, and Angeal’s hand was immediately in his hair. The strokes crept wonderfully close to encouraging his head to move. The fond scratching of his scalp a mere hair’s breadth away from grabbing his hair and tugging at it.

To feel wanted like that sent another dizzying rush of arousal moved through Zack, and he had to struggle to stick to his decision of warming. A part of the enjoyment was the restraint of it. The creation of time and space to really _feel_. To let his body soak in longing until the rest of the world was entirely drowned out.

Angeal grew even harder on his tongue, and he had to make an effort not to swallow in reflex. There would be plenty of time for swallowing later. For now, he just breathed in Angeal’s response to him. There were few things he’d appreciated as much in life as doing things for Angeal, and to give this pleasure to his most important person was literally a dream come true.

He had been dreaming of the day he’d be allowed to give of himself to Angeal in this way for what felt like an eternity. Kind, generous Angeal who had taught him so much, so patiently. Angeal who’d seen past his carefree exterior and who’d helped him grow into someone he could be proud of.

Angeal had made him feel so loved, safe, even in the harshest moments of his training. Later through all of the questionable assignments he got from Shinra, Angeal’s support had carried him, even when they’d been apart. 

Little by little the nerves in his legs went numb from sitting still on his knees for so long, he felt nothing but contentment to stay where he was. When the mixture of drool and Angeal’s pre-come started dripping down his chin he revelled in the sensation. He loved the feeling of enduring for Angeal. He always had, and that was something he’d missed fiercely when his training was over.

Quiet moments passed, where Angeal’s flipping sides in the newspaper and the occasional clatter of his teacup was heard above him. Zack slipped into that serene headspace where everything was perfect. Him existing only for Angeal made his every breath rapture, intense, yet serene. It was easy to let go of every other thought, and just lose track of anything but Angeal’s absolving presence.

He let the relief of Angeal’s acceptance fill him, warm him and strengthen him. He relished Angeal’s caresses, that had turned lazily indulgent rather than heated, and they seemed endless.

It went on until Angeal finished pretending reading the newspaper. He’d gotten scarcely more than the headlines, and if asked to give an account of them he’d fail tremendously. He gulped down the last of his tea which had gone cold long ago. 

Left were only his thoughts of Zack’s warm mouth around him. The impossibly small caresses of Zack’s thumbs on his thighs. The most miniscule shifting of Zack under the table. When he felt Zack’s saliva dripping down his shaft and down over his balls, arousal positively stabbed at him with imagining the look of Zack’s face under the table.

The mere _idea_ of Zack under the table felt surprisingly thrilling in the otherwise quite tame, domestic morning. He’d shared so many breakfasts with Zack, and it made him wonder how many impulses they’d both held back over the years. Impulses to touch, to be closer, to give shape to the care they felt for one and other. It made him wonder exactly what those shapes could be.

Perhaps it was that curiosity that made his patience snap at last, and he took Zack’s head in his hands in a warning, before he shifted his leg, slotting it in between Zack’s knees, offering him to mount it.

“When you’re ready, show me how much you want me.”

Angeal’s voice was a fond, heated boom that stirred Zack out of his daze, and before he even knew what he himself was doing he’d made space for Angeal’s leg and angled his hips to rub up against it. His own sensitivity took him completely by surprise. It made him gasp which made all of that saliva and pre-come go down the wrong throat and he had to yank his head off, coughing.

“Oh Puppy,” Angeal soothed, planting his free foot firm on the floor and pushing back the chair just enough to see his darling, darling beloved Puppy.

And what a sight it was.

Even through the coughing, Zack’s hips didn’t still. A thick stream of drool and liquid arousal covered Zack’s chin, dripping down on his chest, and he was surprised Zack wasn’t wiping it off reflexively. He might have helped, if the sight hadn’t been so arousing. The blue eyes which turned up to meet his were full of adoration and unwavering commitment. He’d never seen anyone cough so unfazed. In the flash of a second their locking gazes became electric, and Zack froze in his movements as if he’d really been jolted.

“Are you ready to finish what you started?” Angeal mumbled, letting his hands stray to caress his thumbs over those glistening lips, wanting them back on him to the point of it being painful. His impatience finally got the best of him, and he pressed his leg into Zack’s leaking erection while he felt his gaze darken.

Zack didn’t bother to reply. He simply opened his mouth and let Angeal’s throbbing cock pry his throat open. This time Zack setting a restrained but indulgent rhythm that made Angeal think his head would explode.

The sensation was one thing, but seeing Zack’s grateful adoration was another. Though he wasn’t shy to admit it scared him to have so much sway over Zack, it also aroused him to no end. He felt just as grateful as Zack looked over the fact that his foolish doubts had not managed to force a permanent wedge between them.

It was equal parts beauty and pornography to get such a close view on how Zack skilfully inched his cock further and further down his throat with each bob of his head. When had Zack lost his gag-reflex? It was no small feat he was performing.

“Puppy, do you want to drink me?” He meant it as a tease, but it backfired when Zack moaned longingly around him. Moreover, Zack’s hands found his and guided them to his throat, and then he _really_ got to work. 

It was the most intense blow job he’d ever had. The feeling of Zack’s throat working his cock burned his lungs and stole his breath. Weather it was only the muscles responding to the intruding length, or the actual thickness of it inside he didn’t know, but the sense of just how deep Zack was taking him sent him right up to the edge of release.

Zack paused his movements perfectly, giving them both a breath to savour before Angeal poured himself with shocking intensity down Zack’s warm, tight throat. The next heartbeat he felt Zack shooting warm, thick liquid in spurts, all over his leg with a high pitched, nasal whine, and that ramped up his arousal even more. It also helped that Zack kept swallowing intensely around him to drink his every burst.

“Gaia,” he breathed heavily when he was done and bent down to Zack who was still sucking at his tip, licking at his slit, as if he was truly savouring every last drop. 

With a light touch he turned Zack’s face up to take in the sight of its unmade glory and loose splendour. He couldn’t resist kissing those reddened, glistening lips, and Zack welcomed him, letting him taste himself from that sweet warmth. He didn’t particularly enjoy the taste of himself, but he’d take anything from those lips. For example, the distinct lack of moderation.

“You’re not done yet Puppy, are you?” 

Zack merely gave him a dazed smile and then bent down to lap up the mess on Angeal’s legs. Long, tickling, wet, sloppy laps from ankle to thigh. It had taken Angeal some time to get accustomed the surprise of Zack’s obscene tendencies, but once he’d gotten somewhat past it, he found himself absolutely transfixed. It still had a powerful impact on him.

It helped bang into his head that Zack was grown up now. Occasionally, he still had to work hard to separate the Zack in front of him from the Zack that he helped raise. Zack’s fearlessness, and the diligence he applied to them having sex were familiar but daunting at times. Nevertheless, brilliant and masterful just like Zack with any other undertaking. It was just _so_ _much_.

Zack’s tongue tickled and gently pulled at the hairs on his legs. It made him remember getting licked by cats around Banora as a child. He couldn’t tell if they or Zack had been sweeter, although at the moment Zack wasn’t having the sweetest of his moments. More like… glorious filth that made him harden again quicker than he knew he could.

Zack noticed and looked up with a knowing, self-satisfied smile, and then he climbed back onto Angeal’s lap with clinging, lingering moves.

“I wanna ride you,” he whispered into Angeal’s ear and followed it up with a nip on Angeal’s earlobe. Angeal stood up so quick the chair fell over behind him. He made the strides to the bedroom short, hoisting Zack higher on his waist to nip at those dark, pink nipples.

Zack moaned excitedly. “I’ll fuck you so good Angeal,” he breathed. Angeal sat him down next to the bedside table, grabbed the lube and started preparing him.

“No, let me fuck myself open on you,” Zack groaned and snatched the lube from him, slicking himself up quick and dirty.

Angeal amenably laid himself down in the still unmade bed, eying his puppy with challenge and excitement. He watched with his cock bucking as Zack reached back, lined himself up and unceremoniously shoved himself down on the thick piece of flesh with a low groan, and his head rolling back. 

Apparently, the ‘warming’ and Zack’s little cleaning up routine had affected them both because Zack rode him as if there was no tomorrow. Zack’s abs were absolutely dancing under his thumbs as he squeezed Zack’s waist. It was all frenzied, Zack was so tight, warm and eager, the next release got built up in no time.

“Zack…” he felt obligated to at least try to slow them down, but Zack shook his head and pinned him with suddenly piercing blue eyes. 

“I can feel it. I love your come. I want it _everywhere_.” 

He groaned, feeling how Zack’s words ripped him at the seams. Zack was absolutely hammering himself onto his cock, and the bed creaked alarmingly. His entire world became that of Zack taking him in with what could only be said to be perfectly measured violence, performed with all-consuming love. Any chance for turning back passed in a flash.

He felt with what power the emerging orgasm was gushing forth from the depths of his body. It was erupting like a force of nature. When he shot his load, Zack kept riding him, giving him blissful, heavenly resistance as his hips lifted off the bed with Zack on top of him. His pleasure crashed into him in waves that with time turned into mind-numbing oversensitivity. At the end he had to still Zack with a bruising grip on his hips. 

When he opened his eyes again, he had to look at Zack with wonder. Before him and Zack had gotten together like this, he’d thought he simply couldn’t feel that much anymore. Age had planed his feelings out, but then Zack marched in and proved him wrong. So very wrong. The smile that met him was simply devilish. Before they’d slept together never seen a smile like that on Zack’s usually bright and open face.

“Angeeeal.”

His Puppy eased off him and climbed to sit higher on his chest. He had the feeling Zack was deliberately leaving a filthy wet trail on his stomach of his own leaking come, and it was just so superbly indecent.

“Can I have your mouth?” The words were said in an innocent tone, but the way Zack had to pry his erection off his own stomach to angle it towards his mouth looked borderline painful. He didn’t bother replying but put his hands on Zack’s wonderful ass and pulled him closer.

Zack groaned, grabbed one of his hands, arranged it and shoved three of his fingers up his warm, loose, dripping hole. Zack fell forward with a cry, momentarily losing composure at the intrusion.

It took a little more shuffling to arrange them so that Zack could comfortably enter his mouth while on his back. But when Zack slipped himself inside, strong, honey thighs closing off Angeal’s field of vision, muffling the sounds around him any residual awkwardness disappeared.

Angeal’s chest formidably exploded with want to please Zack. He absolutely craved for Zack’s happiness. Zack made it easy for him, doing most of the work. He could feel Zack’s overbearing presence all around him, in the way Zack was grabbing his hair, the obscene sloshing noises from both sucking and him fingering Zack. It felt like one of the most erotic experiences of his life, but then again, he’d felt that almost every time they’d slept together. Still, it was undeniably true. 

At first Zack pushed into his mouth with restraint, but he could feel it slipping. He could recognise the confidence with which Zack was moving, with the strength he was using, and the trust in him to be able to take it. 

He felt something then in Zack that he knew himself lacked; the ability to take without any sort of constraint. It could have been simple greed, but it wasn’t. It was as much taking as it was giving him the opportunity to _give_.

So, he gave Zack a fourth finger, feeling his hand being swallowed up dangerously close to his knuckles with utmost confidence. The pleasured sounds from Zack kept spilling in an increasingly desperate stream.

So, he purposfully fucked his hand inside that wonderfully soft and wet orifice that was stretching so well for him. The movements coaxed more of his own white thick seed to spill out over his hand and trickle down his wrist. He did his best to etch every detail of the sensation into his memory. The word ‘fisting’ kept entering his mind. It had been on Zack’s list. It had him moaning dizzily around Zack’s unyielding arousal. 

Zack sounds moved from breathless to guttural until they were nothing but crude grunts into the mattress. Then Zack was uttering his name, begging, and he could feel the deep, tell-tale clamping of Zack’s entire lower body.

Zack was bearing down fiercely on his hand, sloshing sounds and Zack’s moist whimpers were filling the room until Zack finally came with the familiar shape of his names on his lips. Welcome thick, warm, salty liquid filled his mouth. He gladly swallowed it all down, relishing the flavour and the knowledge that Zack was having a perfect moment. He did his best to draw it out until Zack, his whole body shivering with exhaustion, pulled out.

Above him, Zack sat back on his chest with part laughter, part crying, part whining, all while furiously short of breath. It seemed Zack’s shyness made an appearance again, because he momentarily covered his face with his arm.

“Puppy,” he murmured affectionately and stroked generously over Zack’s chest with his free hand, letting his four fingers of his other slip out slowly, knowing that the sensation had both of their full attention.

As soon as Zack could move again, he shifted to his arms around Angeal’s neck, lying down on top of Angeal, pressing himself so close, so close. 

“Thank you, thank you Angeal,” Zack panted, his words soaring and oscillating, thick with emotions.

“Puppy, you don’t have to thank me for anything.” Angeal’s voice was a steadying drone, its low vibrations soothing something deep in Zack. Angeal carelessly wiped his hand off in the bedsheets and then combed through Zack’s mussed, black spikes. On days like these with Zack, there was always come everywhere. He’d given up on keeping things neat. It was an easy compromise to make.

“I think I do. I… I thought this day would go differently. I thought the conversation would go differently.”

Angeal’s pensive hum filled the room. He wanted to contend Zack’s insecurities, but he thought better of it when considering the difficulties he’d had navigating their conversation. He could only be grateful if he’d done alright by Zack. He himself felt like he’d passed with the bare minimum.

“Puppy, if given the opportunity, I will always do my best to make you happy. I’m very honoured that you trust me enough to let in on this aspect of your life.” And that was entirely true.

Zack sighed happily, squeezed himself closer and then letting his embrace melt to something softer, more sated.

“Zack, can I ask you about something on the list, or rather something that wasn’t on it?”

“’Course.” Zack nuzzled into the crook of Angeal’s neck, his whole being too pleasantly drained to be put on edge by the question. 

“There were questions about scenarios involving other people. May I ask, did you leave out seeing other people on purpose?”

There was a pause before Zack gave his reply, but he didn’t stiffen. “Kind of.”

“So, is my impression right, that you were seeing other people when we got together?”

Another pause, then “Yes.” Zack’s afterglow was waning now, a nervous edge returning to the edges of his muscles, and he wrapped his arms further around Angeal, as if seeking protection from the uncomfortable topic.

Angeal patiently returned the embrace, careful not to let anything condemning sneak into his voice. “Several other people?”

“Uhuh,” Zack confirmed, and then hummed another ‘yes’ just to be absolutely sure he was understood. He simply couldn’t get the ‘yes’ off his tongue again, reluctantly going where Angeal were leading them.

“And you stopped seeing them?”

Zack created space enough to try to read Angeal’s face. He looked for jealousy, concern, any indication of Angeal’s expectations of him, but came up with nothing. All he found was a small but very gentle smile.

“I assumed that’s what you wanted,” Zack replied, feeling confused without knowing exactly why.

“And is that what _you_ wanted?” Angeal reached with his hands to caress the confusion out of Zack’s face. It didn’t work entirely, but it closed some of the rift that was opening between them. His heart skipped a beat, seeing how keen Zack was to lean into his touch. It made him wish he had more hands to offer.

“I… I didn’t think about it. I only thought about how much I wanted to be with you.” The way Angeal was looking at him made him wonder if he’d done something wrong.

“Puppy… I wouldn’t mind if you’d see other people too. Especially not after reading your list. I’m not sure I’d be able to give you everything that you want. That you need, even.”

Zack’s face twisted into a frown. “You wouldn’t mind?” His words came out sounding more offended than he’d intended. 

“No. And I wouldn’t go anywhere. I doubt I could let you go now that I’ve had a taste of you.” Angeal’s eyes flickered with darkness as his eyes wandered down Zack’s chest, still glistening with his release. He could feel it on his own chest too. It never seemed to bother Zack, and he thought maybe it was rubbing off on him. Come play had been marked as one of Zack’s favourites.

Zack returned the smile briefly, but his suspicion overtook it, and he rolled to Angeal’s side propping his head up on an elbow. “Is this about you not wanting me to be too dependent on you?”

Angeal’s face went flat. He wasn’t used to Zack flinging uncomfortable things so bluntly in his face. It had a tendency to make him feel ridiculous about them. This, however, didn’t.

“Yes. Do you understand why?” He said it apologetically, but Zack huffed and rolled himself onto his back, creating more distance between them, obviously frustrated.

“Actually, I don’t think I do. Doesn’t everybody need other people? What’s wrong with relying on you? I want you to rely on me too. Isn’t that how relationships work?”

Zack sounded irritated, but Angeal knew it was merely a coverup for hurt, and it made him feel guilty. But this was important, so he pressed on. Though he fished Zack’s hand out of the sheets and kissed his knuckles first.

“It is. I just don’t want you to rely _solely_ on me. SOLDIER’s lives-”

“Are short, unexpected things can happen, yes I know. _I know that_ Angeal. You’ve told me a million times.” Zack turned to face Angeal before he went on, forcing himself to be brutally honest, way past what he was comfortable with. He felt like he owed it to Angeal. And maybe to himself too. It would be the best way to move things along, and he _needed_ them to move past this.

“What I hear is that you’re willing to pass me off into the hands of others because you don’t want to fuck me in _every_ way on the list. What’s worse, I don’t even think it’s about that. Honestly, sometimes it feels like you’re just looking for ways to end this, to get rid of me. How can I land in this when you do that?”

It was Angeal’s turn to frown, and he rubbed the skin between his eyebrows with Zack’s knuckles, but it didn’t make it better. “I see what you mean Zack, and I’m sorry to have given you that impression. Never in my life have I wanted to rid myself of you. Never. You might have realised already, but romantic relationships aren’t really my forte, and… I find it hard to judge what’s right and wrong in them.” He sighed and brought Zack’s hand to his chest for comfort. 

Zack sighed and turned back to face Angeal. “Okay, so if I decided not to see anyone but you, that would be fine? If I really wanted that?”

Something helpless came over Angeal’s features, and his “Yes,” sounded forced.

“…But? Come on Angeal. I’m not a child anymore. Out with it.” Zack pressed his hand against Angeal’s chest, willing him desperately to trust, to be honest. A part of him was so tense it wanted to just snarl at Angeal to spit it out.

“But I have trouble believing that I’m the best choice for you. It’s not that I doubt your feelings, or mine, Zack. I’m concerned that we’ll fall into old habits of student and teacher. That level of co-dependency just isn’t feasible in the context we’re in.”

Zack’s first impulse was to roll his eyes, but he managed not to. His second impulse was to admit that Angeal had a point, however painful it was. He wasn’t ready to give that to Angeal though. It would only fuel Angeal’s worries further.

“But I did fine during our year apart, right?” He had. He’d managed. He hadn’t liked it, but he’d managed. A little better than barely too, but he didn’t say that. Fortunately, his mission records were excellent.

“You did, Zack. You did.” Angeal’s face broke into a melancholy smile. Unable to resist the magnetic pull of Angeal’s fondness, Zack inched himself closer until their forehands were resting against one and other. It was an old gesture between them, even if it had been quite rare.

“Can I have some time to think about seeing other people again? They might not want to pick things up either you know…”

“Of course. I really didn’t mean to ‘pass you over’ to someone else.” Not that he’d been aware of, but maybe… maybe some part of him had. For Zack’s own best? He really hoped that was the truth of it.

“And that you don’t believe you’re what’s best for me... Can we work on that? There was a time when you knew what was best for me. It was your job. Now it’s not, and the one to judge now is me. _Me_ , Angeal.”

Angeal hummed his agreeance and threaded his hands into Zack’s wiry hair. Gods he loved that hair. He loved the way it smelled of Zack. He moved to kiss Zack’s forhead so that he could bury his nose in Zack’s mussed tresses and take a deep breath. Well, now it smelled of Zack and sex, but he loved that too.

“Tell me you love me.” Zack wanted to hear it before he was ready to drop the conversation for now. He knew they’d have to return to it, many times probably, and that was fine.

“I love you, Zack.” Angeal’s words came effortlessly and sincerely, and they made Zack shudder with satisfaction. 

“And you won’t get rid of me.”

“Zack, I’ve woken every morning with a smile on my lips since we got together. How could I get rid of that? I couldn’t do that to you _or_ me.”

The truth of it was that there were days when Zack were his main reason to get out of bed, but he didn’t want to burden Zack with that knowledge. He was barely in his thirties, but life with Shinra had aged him quickly. Coping with it didn’t seem to get better with time. He only felt it wore on him heavier and heavier.

Zack bled his tension with a soft purr as Angeal planted kisses in his hair. Small, lingering kisses were shared until new warmth built between them. Little by little, their bodies sought to entangle again. This time there was nothing fiery about their exchange, just the constant underlying current: a simmering longing for closeness and connection.


	2. Illustration

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm putting it separately in case you hate illustrations for your readings.
> 
> If by any far cry anyone wants to colour it, send me an email and you can get a file with layers or whatever.

**Author's Note:**

> As you may or may not know, I've been writing stuff that hasn't been so 'safe sane and consensual' lately, and at some point I just felt like I needed to write that as a palette cleanser. Besides, I'm always concerned with Zack's happiness. Can't go too long between the instances of giving him what he wants and making him happy. xD
> 
> Update on Genesis-position: he's alive and kicking.
> 
> If you have reqests for Zangeal-kinks you'd like to see being explored here I'm open for suggestions.


End file.
